our first date you drove me to the beach, we sat there on the hood of your car and looked at the stars. at first i thought it was pretty gay, but then i thought about it and thats the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. when i think back on it, i was lucky. i was the luckiest girl in the whole world. because all you wanted to do was talk, nothing else. you liked me for who i am and that scares the hell out of me because you were the first person i wanted so bad that i couldnt ignore my feelings. i didnt want you to get to know me because i honestly didnt know what i would do if you didnt like me, because most of the time i dont even like myself. 

you always know the perfect things to say, the perfect things to do, and you used to make me feel on top of the world when we were together. you were the best thing i ever had, and i took it for granted, i guess.

i wish things could go back to normal because going through every day knowing, but not acknowledging that you were the only person ive ever loved sucks, especially since i know ive never met anyone else like you, and i probably wont meet anyone else like you for a really long time.

it kills me every time one of my friends tells me that youre talking to them, and i dont know if youre doing it on purpose or not. i dont know if thats your way at getting back at me, because i didnt think what i did made me deserve this. you could get any girl that you wanted, i just wish i meant as much to you as you meant to me.

i miss last summer.